Oh Blessed Ignorance

Aaron sent me this earlier:

This motherfucker contributes to The Daily Press when he's not busy sounding ignorant.

This is a note he wrote on Facebook:

A female friend called a dude las night yo mad as hell dat her dude broke up wit her. So I asked her why she and her man broke up...cuz a dude knew dem both for a minute now yo and dey always appeared to look happy, but u neva kno.
She said "We neva had a guud relationship and i DONT CARE that we broke up...um jus mad dat he left me for a BIG GURL!!!"


U see mi eva so silly female friend is not really mad dat her man left her...nah dat doesn't seem to bother her at tall...wat has baby gurl so upset is da fact that everything she eva knew about dudes has been proven wrong. And she's not too excited to learn new lessons at 26 either yo.


We dudes like em all in 09 yo...big, skinny, tall, round and brown, yellow, white and purple...it really don't matter yo! A dude will kick it fareal fareal wit any female dat has dat swag dat he's lookin for, but havin dese few qualities don't hurt either yo:


1.STAY FRESH! Pick a pretty smellin unique frangrance combination and stick wit it...cuz it aint nothin sexier den bein able to tell ya gurl is around based upon the scent in da air.

2.STAY POSITIVE! I knew one gurl dat had da mos bangin body, but da mos depressin convo. All her days were gloomy. Sun jus did not exist in dis shawty's life at tall! And no dude wanted any dealins wit her either yo.

3.STAY YOU! Um a believer like mos dudes dat we were all made to hav our own personalities. If a female sticks to her natural personality and don't attempt to be somebody else, and stays fresh, and stays positive. No matter if she's big, skinny, or tall she will hav any dude she so desires... and dats real

And here was my reply:

Lisen yo who u 2 judge dude?

Dude just spittin troof. He vomits wizdom and pisses eloquence. Dnt h8 on a dude dat dont undastand pronouns and commas and shit. It cud b worse. At least he understands apostrophes and elipses n shit.

And u no part of me agrees wit dude.

Shawty gotta stay fresh cuz on dat true shit i like to know dat mi gurl is round just by smellin da freshness in da air.

And positivity is a MUST! U eva tried talkin 2 a negative nancy? NO! No one has! Cuz the bitch is wack! Shawty wakes up on the wrong side of the number line DAILY! People don't like dat shit.

FAKE BITCHES ARE WEAK! So i agree wit his last point n shit. Cant stand a girl dat aint true 2 herself. If you a big girl u gotta work wit what ya momma gave ya. Dont be tryin to fit into the mold that society has crafted. ESPECIALLY if u big!

And u no what? Fuck da female who thought it was aight to call dude last night. And fuck da female dat wont mad at her man for dumpin her, but was mad dat da big girl got her mans.

Let me close this off with a rap.


Dude is void and weak
Mind's all washed and bleak,
He just speaks and speaks
But says nothing.
A lack of knowledge combined with the mind
Of a man that likely idolizes crime is a problem.
It's sound advice but the presentation is wack,
Loosely organized with bad syntax.
Dude props himself up to be the next Nostradamus
But I wonder if he knows the names of all his baby mommas.

Doubt it.
Kid's out of it.
If you type cool n shit you'll go real far,
Until you're 40 years old living outta your car.
Don't hate - here comes my advice and I
Hope you're ready cuz It won't be said twice.

[interlude]
Whether u a big gurl or a small gurl or a white gurl or a purple gurl
Be urself nd don't let da haters get 2 u. Just be real!
[end interlude]

It's 2009 ya'll - this is the year that we like 'em all!
Big fat and tall, you can all suck my balls!

Just Stay fresh, stay positive and stay you.
And you too
Can get THIS dick.

♥

I decided to share this not only to show off my lyrical skills, but to also showcase the idiocy of this guy. Also, I thought Aaron's comment at the beginning was hilarious.