A friend of mine introduced me to the term about 6 or 7 months ago. It refers to a drug user's tendency to pursue the ultimate high. They're always searching for that pinnacle of existence, that nirvana. But it never comes. Every failed attempt just leaves the user wanting to experience that high even more. Of course, the rational response to consistent failure is, "It'll work next time!" And when the user doesn't experience the high the next time they use, they believe it will happen the time after that.
The desire to experience this high often leads to constant drug use. When they aren't using, the user is looking for more drugs to use. The user is always chasing the dragon, but they never catch it. Chasing the Dragon is usually mentioned in reference to Heroin. Heroin is incredibly addictive, and that addiction usually takes hold the first time someone uses.
It makes sense to me. It's biological.
When we eat, dopamine(the pleasure neurotransmitter) is released in the brain. We associate the happiness with eating, which causes us to want more food - even if we don't need it. It's an adaptation from when food was scarce. However, now that food is in abundance(in the U.S. At least), this biological response can be maladaptive.
The same thing happens when a drug user shoots up, snorts, or smokes their drug of choice. It feels good. In the case of Heroin, there's generally an entire body euphoria. Nothing matters, the world outside of them doesn't even exist. They're happy. As a result of this euphoria, they want it again. Just as our bodies strive for more food, the user strives for more of their drug. It's both psychological(mental addiction) and physiological(physical dependence).
I get this. I understand the effects of the drugs on the user. But here's what I don't understand; why?
Why does someone feel the desire to believe that the world doesn't even exist around them? What is it about that Euphoria that's so amazing that it's worth living a life full of anxiety? Why do people start using hard drugs? Why do we enjoy being in an altered state of mind, SO MUCH?
I've smoked pot. If you know me, you know that. I also got caught, and I haven't smoked in a year and a month or so. I'd done it before I got to school. I don't know how many times I did it, but I did. I did it because it was there. I did it because it made me giggle. It made me carefree. It didn't make me infantile, but it made me damn close.
I was happy. I was hungry. I was tired. I was horny. I was deep. I was shallow. I was everything I was before I got high, but slower. And I ENJOYED it.
I enjoyed being slower. I enjoyed being carefree, happy, hungry, tired, horny, deep, and shallow.
I apparently didn't need it, as it's been so long since I've done it. I don't understand the appeal of being slower. I can understand the appeal of being carefree, but I don't stress much as it is. I'm also a fairly happy person, and I have no problems with my appetite or getting sleep. My libido is strong, and I like to think that I'm relatively deep. And I'm definitely somewhat shallow.
I want to know what causes the first hit, the first shot, or the first snort.
I think that we're so jaded, as a species, to the beauty of life. We take it for granted, which is horseshit. I wish I didn't. I have no idea if I'm going to be alive tomorrow. I really hope I will be, and I don't like thinking about what would happen if I weren't. But a lot of us go through life constantly looking for our next fix, constantly searching for confirmation that we're not living for nothing.
Some of us look up, to a higher being for inspiration. Some of us look ahead to our future, which we've meticulously planned. Some of us look down, to the bowl, the needle, or the pile of powder. And then there are those of us who look outwards, and seek satisfaction in other people.
Why?? Why isn't life enough?
I wish I could get up every morning and realize what a miracle it is to be alive. I write that, and I don't even know if I believe it.
Isn't there inherent joy in being alive? Isn't there joy in every breath we take? If not, shouldn't there be? We're alive.
We have thoughts, computers, websites where we can put our thoughts, grocery stores, cars, culture, laws; we have trees, rivers, mountains, clouds, stars, grass, and animals. There is so much around us. It's just so difficult to find the time to slow down and soak it in.
Merry Christmas
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
A Treatise on Political Apathy
I wrote this some time in the past year on a Redskins message board that I used to go on a lot. The guy I'm replying to is 20, so I figured I could speak to him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think you're just realizing that your idealistic views of the world and politics will never come to pass.
We grow up reading(okay, "learning") about the founding fathers. Those guys who created the office of the presidency. They're portrayed in a light of 'untouchable'. Men of extraordinary character who rose up against oppression and created the wonderful country we live in now. I think we try to hold our presidential candidates up to those standards that we've been force fed. Well, they're human, they're entirely touchable. And the media will make sure you don't forget it.
Then, when you get old enough to care about what's going on in the world, especially your own country, you realize that it's shitty. The world is shitty.
It was shitty back in infancy of America, it's shitty right now, and in all likelihood, the shittiness probably won't stop any time soon. There will always be bad people, it's just that now - with the advent of the internet and "Infotainment," we constantly hear about it.
When your primary source of information ceases to be the textbooks, and instead becomes blogs, Yahoo!, 24 hour news networks scrutinizing EVERY possible move that a Candidate/Senator/President makes, and internet message boardswhere people on both sides of the isle enjoy frequent bickering, it's natural to feel jaded.
This happened to me a while ago. I liked McCain. He was a "Maverick." Hell, he was on The Daily Show a few years ago(He must be cool). AND he was a Republican. Then I learned he had softened on positions that his party hated about him, and wondered where his conviction had gone.
Maybe it was with Hilary. Hahahah, who am I kidding? Yeah right.
And then I saw Obama, a shining beacon of political unorthodoxy. He was BLACK. But most importantly, he was a man. I was excited. I wasn't sure why, but I was invigorated.
However, my optimism was somewhat cautious. I was certain he swore into the senate on a Qu'ran and wanted Spanish to become our national language. I later found out that I was wrong and he was indeed a christian. A whitey-hating christian who regularly enjoyed "Terrorist Fist Jabs" with his significant other, but a Christian nonetheless.
That was a close one! After my fears had been quelled, my optimism resurfaced. However, certain people wanted to destroy it.
They claimed he lacked experience. Rightly so! He's a one term senator, as opposed to a 1 1/2 term governor, a TWO term senator, a millionaire who married a ketchup tycoon, or an aging war hero.
Then there were people who could find happiness in a shit sandwich.
When I heard this, I said:
After a quick Google search of "Corruption, Politics," I come to the realization that corruption didn't die off with the Great Depression. It's been around since the creation of Government. I hear about Lobbyists, sort of recalling the word from Government class. I realize that they have quite a bit of influence in running our government. But wait, did we elect these guys?
No?
...Really?
Shit.
Then I started hearing about how our Civil Liberties are being slowly eroded. I worry about it, kind of. But only kind of. Because really, what does it matter to me? If I'm not doing anything wrong, what do I have to fear?
...Right?
Then I see someone's signature on that internet message board I frequent, which quotes one of the founding fathers, James Madison.
All the way from the 18th century, he says
But if I do that, the 24 hour news networks might catch wind, and there goes my bid for the presidency.
I thought all was lost. But then all that social contract bullshit I learned in High School History and Government classes started flooding back to me. Isn't the government in place to protect its constituents? Doesn't it exist to serve us?
It's supposed to work like that. But laws are supposed to stop crime, but our prisons are full to the brim.
But don't worry too much, we're young. This stuff doesn't matter. You know what matters? Happiness. Happiness matters. Don't let it get you down.
This happens to all of us though. Next thing you know, you'll be riding the apathy train to nowhere. See you soon!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toe Jam
"It just feels more hositle than usual. Like I said, I'm young so I may be a bit naiive when it comes to this.
I just don't like it. Disagreeing is one thing but it seems people are actually insulting and putting down other people because they have differing opinions."
I think you're just realizing that your idealistic views of the world and politics will never come to pass.
We grow up reading(okay, "learning") about the founding fathers. Those guys who created the office of the presidency. They're portrayed in a light of 'untouchable'. Men of extraordinary character who rose up against oppression and created the wonderful country we live in now. I think we try to hold our presidential candidates up to those standards that we've been force fed. Well, they're human, they're entirely touchable. And the media will make sure you don't forget it.
Then, when you get old enough to care about what's going on in the world, especially your own country, you realize that it's shitty. The world is shitty.
It was shitty back in infancy of America, it's shitty right now, and in all likelihood, the shittiness probably won't stop any time soon. There will always be bad people, it's just that now - with the advent of the internet and "Infotainment," we constantly hear about it.
When your primary source of information ceases to be the textbooks, and instead becomes blogs, Yahoo!, 24 hour news networks scrutinizing EVERY possible move that a Candidate/Senator/President makes, and internet message boardswhere people on both sides of the isle enjoy frequent bickering, it's natural to feel jaded.
This happened to me a while ago. I liked McCain. He was a "Maverick." Hell, he was on The Daily Show a few years ago(He must be cool). AND he was a Republican. Then I learned he had softened on positions that his party hated about him, and wondered where his conviction had gone.
Maybe it was with Hilary. Hahahah, who am I kidding? Yeah right.
And then I saw Obama, a shining beacon of political unorthodoxy. He was BLACK. But most importantly, he was a man. I was excited. I wasn't sure why, but I was invigorated.
However, my optimism was somewhat cautious. I was certain he swore into the senate on a Qu'ran and wanted Spanish to become our national language. I later found out that I was wrong and he was indeed a christian. A whitey-hating christian who regularly enjoyed "Terrorist Fist Jabs" with his significant other, but a Christian nonetheless.
That was a close one! After my fears had been quelled, my optimism resurfaced. However, certain people wanted to destroy it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The right
"He's a one term senator for Christ's sake! We might as well put a chimp in the White House. Shit! That was racist wasn't it?"
They claimed he lacked experience. Rightly so! He's a one term senator, as opposed to a 1 1/2 term governor, a TWO term senator, a millionaire who married a ketchup tycoon, or an aging war hero.
Then there were people who could find happiness in a shit sandwich.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Left
"His lack of experience is a positive! He hasn't had time to let the corruption of Washington seep into his soul!"
When I heard this, I said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Me
"What? Corruption in the womb of Democracy? What kind of blasphemy do these liberals tout?"
After a quick Google search of "Corruption, Politics," I come to the realization that corruption didn't die off with the Great Depression. It's been around since the creation of Government. I hear about Lobbyists, sort of recalling the word from Government class. I realize that they have quite a bit of influence in running our government. But wait, did we elect these guys?
No?
...Really?
Shit.
Then I started hearing about how our Civil Liberties are being slowly eroded. I worry about it, kind of. But only kind of. Because really, what does it matter to me? If I'm not doing anything wrong, what do I have to fear?
...Right?
Then I see someone's signature on that internet message board I frequent, which quotes one of the founding fathers, James Madison.
All the way from the 18th century, he says
...Madison couldn't possibly have predicted that this would happen. It has to be a coincidence. But if he did say that and he's right, what can I do? I'm just one person. There are 300 MILLION of us. Surely I cannot do anything to better this country without selling my soul.
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Madison
"If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
But if I do that, the 24 hour news networks might catch wind, and there goes my bid for the presidency.
I thought all was lost. But then all that social contract bullshit I learned in High School History and Government classes started flooding back to me. Isn't the government in place to protect its constituents? Doesn't it exist to serve us?
It's supposed to work like that. But laws are supposed to stop crime, but our prisons are full to the brim.
But don't worry too much, we're young. This stuff doesn't matter. You know what matters? Happiness. Happiness matters. Don't let it get you down.
This happens to all of us though. Next thing you know, you'll be riding the apathy train to nowhere. See you soon!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Just a few thoughts
You can get away with saying ANYTHING, if you say it in the right tone. Try it.
After reading what amounts to a novel on Africa, I've come to the realization that an entire continent is rolling in its own shit, and is powerless to do anything about it.
And that sucks.
After reading what amounts to a novel on Africa, I've come to the realization that an entire continent is rolling in its own shit, and is powerless to do anything about it.
And that sucks.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)